Sorrowful Remembrance

Often these days, I find myself with tears in my eyes. Tears of happiness mixed with sadness. It makes me question why I keep finding myself in this situation. I have been told I open my heart to everyone or I give everyone a chance until they prove me wrong. Letting people disappoint me ends in tears, these tears are not out of joy but of frustrations with myself. A few years ago I put up walls that blocked people out and they had to earn my trust and friendship. I believe these walls are still constructed in some form. This past summer was a true test of this. Today I had to leave the the people who I grew quite close to and it was difficult. Simple praise and thanks brought me to tears because these people did not see the normal person I am. They saw as a strong person one who did not cry at everything but still genuinely cared about people. This is the person I would like to be. I know leaving them is not forever and I still remain in touch with many of them. It is just hard to leave people who showed me the person I now am. I wish the best to every single one of them the best and I will see them in the spring.

Strong and positive.